10 Relationship Tips for Parents
A support system built on trust with partners, family and friends play an important role in maternal mental health. That in turn affects the future health of your child and family. While much has been said on postpartum depression in moms and we are playing our part in addressing prenatal anxiety and depression, the emotional wellbeing of one of these key supports – the dads – is vital to healthy families.
Here are 10 relationship tips for parents:
Keep communication lines open.
Try to listen, really list rather than criticize. Remember, your partner is also adjusting to parenthood and may be struggling with different aspects.
Resolve conflict before it gets out of control.
Make an effort to be kind and respectful even while dealing with conflict to avoid toxicity. Don’t go to bed angry. Communication is key.
Carve out couple time.
It’s easy for all your time to be dedicated toward baby with none remaining for yourselves as a couple. Try to plan ahead for couple time, it doesn’t have to be anything big. Maybe decide ahead of time to enjoy a glass of wine together and enjoy a favourite show after your child has gone to bed. The small things add up and help.
Learn each others’ ‘love languages’.
This is a concept coined by Dr. Gary Chapman - each person has a primary and secondary ‘love language’ in the way they like to receive and give love… which may be different from their partner’s. These languages are: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Gifts and Quality Time.
Share the load.
Help each other out. Dishes? Changing nappies? Your partner will appreciate the help. As mundane and tiring as chores and childcare can sometimes be, it helps to support each other. Can you make it more fun? Make a game out of it? Reward yourselves at the end?Create intimacy in the bedroom.
Yes, sex will happen again. Make sure it is good for both of you. Sex asks for intimacy and vulnerability, so make an effort to create a safe space for open communication.Support each others’ personal goals.
People experience a higher sense of wellbeing when they believe their partner view and treat them in a way that is in line with their ideal self. This in turn enhances both personal wellbeing and the relationship if it is reciprocated (Drigotas et al).
Take care of your physical health.
Exercise, even if it means doing so at different times. A baby is going to affect your sleep schedule, so trying to stay healthy can go a long way to helping your relationship. Also, there are the perks of feel-good hormones - endorphins!Plan a get-away.
Can a trusted family member watch the baby for an evening so you can unplug and get away? This can be an affordable activity, and the less time spent travelling the more you can rest and enjoy each other. So instead of jet-setting, think of something closer to home. How about a bed and breakfast, a cottage rental, or if you are adventurous, camping?Maintain an element of surprise.
Routine can be healthy and help provide stability amidst the chaos of parenting, but surprises can help keep the element of fun in the relationship.
Interested in hearing more from dads themselves? Check out this video on ‘Dad Advice’ as well as the Australian Men’s Shed Association, a resource dedicated to men’s health.
